Identity — Who Am I?

We live in a world where there are shifting standards and bombardment of lies that muddy the water of why we exist.

Growing up in a home whose parents endured the great depression in 1929 this environment caused a survival mindset that left no room for affection or hugs. The survival thought was if you have a place to live, food, and clothes that showed you were loved.

When my mother, Lee, met my dad, Joe, she already had two teenagers from a former failed marriage. A doctor told my mom she would not be able to have any more children. A year after dad and mom married, my sister, Ella, was born. Then a year later, I was born. My parents wanted a boy but got a colicky girl. It complicated the marriage because my dad didn’t want kids. Mom had already raised children and had two babies in her late thirty’s was not ideal, especially since she was a working mom.

I used to be called baby Ruth because I cried so much and demanded my way. I remember biting my arm until it bled. Mom looked at my arm, and she walked away ignoring the cry for help. As I look back, I realize that not being wanted made me feel disconnected from my parents. I finally found a place in my family by being a tom girl and being the responsible person. I learned to bury my needs and learned to survive.

I was very shy and had a speech problem where I couldn’t say certain syllables. I couldn’t even say my name, Ruth. These things set me apart from the other kids. Then in the summer before entering the seventh grade, my life changed. Pastor Babcock, the Methodist preacher, had a retreat camp for our youth. He laid out the message of salvation about Jesus dying for our sins. A number of us received Jesus as our Savior. That event started melting the rejection and opened a new mindset to view my life differently.

I didn’t fit in the box of being a normal girl. I loved climbing trees. I was the only girl who could climb the peg board (kind of like a rock wall). Because I had a hard time learning, I thought differently than others. I found out years later I had a form of dyslexic which was why I had problems with speaking and writing. I joined the United States Air Force. The Air Force placement test caused me to be trained as an avionics communication specialist, which is a fancy way of saying I repaired the radios on aircraft. I was one of the first women ever to be trained for that field of work. It was me working with a crew of mostly men, returning from the Vietnam War who resented women taking their jobs.

I rode bikes and brought a motorcycle. I had a hard time trying to fit in with the few women in the service. When I got out of the service, I went to college to be a physical education teacher. I worked at a recreation center and taught exercise classes and different sports like tennis.

God’s Identity vs. the World’s View

Why am I sharing these life events? If I had been born in the year 2000 instead of the 1950’s, I would have been opened to the lies that God made a mistake when He made me a girl. God’s protection was on me because accepting Jesus allowed me to be the person God created me to be. A tom boy!

The world has created an image that if you like certain things like a man liking the color pink then he must be the wrong sex. Maybe a guy likes the feel of a silk shirt. That has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. I know many women who likes guns but that doesn’t make them a man.

I can hear the voices of mothers and society saying to our young men, “You would have been a beautiful woman!” Or the voices saying to girls, “If you like baseball caps and boots, you must be a man.” I am not condemning people who are confused about who they are. I am fighting against the lies told to our young people that they are unacceptable and must change their outward appearance to be accepted.

How dare society tell you that you aren’t normal! God created us with many different and unique gifts. He didn’t put us in a mold and declared we would all be the same. Look at the apostles. What a messy group of men. But each had different personalities and gifts that turned the world right side up with the gospel of Jesus. John the Baptist worn clothing made of camel’s hair, ate locusts, and shouted in the desert. Ezekiel, the prophet, laid on his side 390 days to reveal the iniquity of God’s people. The Bible is filled with unusual people with all kinds of personalities.

The Way Out!

If you want out of the box that has trapped you into an identity that suffocate you instead of celebrating you, then God has a way out of that box.

Jesus came to set the captive free from all the worldly deceptions and traps. Jesus died and rose again from dead by shedding his blood to buy your freedom, but he will not force you to accept this freedom. God has given you a free will to make a choice. If you want to be set free and find your true identity as “God’s kid,” then you need to say out loud the following prayer.

Father God,

Help! I am confused, lost, and made so many mistakes that I can’t unravel. I am choosing to trust in the price Jesus paid for my freedom with his own blood. Jesus, be my Savior. Forgive me for all the wrong choices I have made. I have no idea how You will change my life, but I want all that You have provided for me to walk a life filled with Your love, peace, and joy. I invite the Holy Spirit to come into my life and empower me and counsel me in this new walk.

My Prayer for You!

Father God,

Thank You for every person who read, prays, and shares these words with others. I ask for Your protection and grace to be pour out upon them. You said that I have the power to bind the lies and lose Your Kingdom truths. So, I am in agreement with Your word and bind the lies and deceptions that have captured Your people. I ask for Your truth to be revealed and that they would enter into the original intended identity and purpose You have for them.

Declaration Over You to Break Those Lies!

By the blood of Jesus, I break off the words spoken over you that do not line up with God’s original purpose for your life. I ask the Holy Spirit to come and remove the trauma that has happened in your life that caused you to be open to lies. May God restore all that you have lost from these lies. May your walls of protection melt away as the love of God is poured into your life.

You are God’s precious child. Just be willing to let God into your life and see your life be filled with new hope and adventures. All God needs is your permission which is saying “I am willing God!” Amen!

Scriptures

Matthew 3:4, Ezekiel 4:4-6, Luke 4:18 – 21, and Matthew 18:18

PS: When I complained to God about being born in a family that didn’t want me, God revealed that he didn’t promise a life that was fair. God did promise power to overcome the obstacles in my life. God restored my relationship with my parents. They did the best they could with what they knew. Mom and dad both came to know Jesus as their Savior.